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There is a World Beard Day. You’re Welcome.

beard day man

 

I didn’t know this, but there is a “World Beard Day” now and it’s September 6th. This is going up over a week post because… reasons.

Mark it on your calendars and grow out those facial folicals bcause next year things are going to get hairy.

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Shark week is for the weak — IT’S BRONSON WEEK NOW.

bronson shark

 

I can’t stop listening to Action Bronson this week. Working in an office– feeding the hungry — nothing keeps a man motivated like Bronsolino. He’s been a grown man since he “had a baby dick.” POET.

You have an assignment for this week, listen to one song a day.

Be a better person.

Make your mother proud.

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Have a great week, my babies.

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Third Bodily Profession – in Due Time.

1. The Heart    2.Gumologist    3.The Elizabethan Era elizabethan heart gumologist

Facts:

Every day, your heart beats about 100,000 times, sending 2,000 gallons of blood surging through your body. 

A gumologist is somebody who tastes gums for companies like Trident and such, they are connoisseurs of deciphering the subtles flavor differences between different “real food” derivatives.

The Elizabethan Era took place between 1558 – 1603, during this time period Queen Elizabeth I separated the whole of England from the Catholic church which gave her absolute power over both church and state.

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This week, while I didn’t have any time for making things!, I started listening to FIDLAR while working at a desk job. It’s great music for a relaxing 9-hour day trying to feed the world! Here’s a great music video for a great song. Nick Offerman is a GAWD.  

Holla atcha boy!

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Second Bodily Profession– in Due Time.

1. Liver   2. Scientist  3. Renaissance Period

liver scientist

 

Facts:

Apart from your skin, the liver is the largest organ in your body.

A scientist, in a broad sense, is one engaging in a systematic activity to acquire knowledge. In a more restricted sense, a scientist may refer to an individual who uses the scientific method. One Walter White is a prolific scientist of lore and legend. 

The Renaissance was a “rebirth” of knowledge, following the medieval era. It was a time between the 14th and 16th centuries where science, art, philosophy and other modes of learning and expression exploded in the face of the human consciousness.

 

 

Now, watch this video and check out other stuff by this guy– it’s pretty good, yo.

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My newest series of ILLUSTRATIONS will be spewed forth periodically onto the face of the fat president. I will be asking friends, family, ghouls and strangers to give me:

1.) a body part, either internal or external

2.) a time period (ie. the middle ages)

3.) a profession (ie. prostitute or priest)

… the rest is super simple.

 

FIRST:

1. Kidney 2.Barbarian 3.Medieval Era

kindey bean barbarian

facts:

The  kidney(s) filter(s) about 50 gallons of blood through their 140 miles of tube(s).

“Barbarian” is neither a profession, or an ethnicity. In the medieval era, the established church/governing entity deemed most fringe cultures as “barbarous.”

The medieval era lives on the timeline of human existence between the fifth and fifteenth centuries.

 

Here’s a great song by Tobacco, it’s called “Stretch Your Face.” Enjoy this… because.

 

 

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Tom Vek, Luck Review

This doesn't have a lot to do with the album in any way, but here's an illustration I did of Tom Vek on a chicken -- hitting it with "drumsticks." Get it?!

This doesn’t have a lot to do with the album in any way, but here’s an illustration I did of Tom Vek on a chicken — hitting it with “drumsticks.” Get it?!

Tom Vek’s newest album Luck starts with a haunting tone and quickly transitions into an excited elegance and smart-poppy feel. It’s an album bound to surprise you after the first song. Vek’s punchy-smooth vocals are laid over a “Fever Ray” style background that sets the stage in the most peculiar way for the rest of the album, much of which lacks any semblance to the eerie background music in this opening track.

When listening to an album for the first time, it’s fun to think of it as a perfectly performed concert for the blind. This opening track would be performed in the dark and everyone in the audience would be losing their minds—though, if the entirety of the audience was blind I guess the whole concert would be performed in the dark. Needless to say, it’s an interesting and smart choice for an opener. The next song feels a lot more poppy, its lyrics are easy to digest and there is that very British feeling about it that my inner hipster gets all excited about.

The songs blend nicely together somehow, though they’re all so different. From the opener to the meat of the album the wavelength of tonal atmosphere is a nice steady up and down. “Ton of Bricks” and “You’ll Stay” live in the meat of the album and are fun and simple lyrics that, even if you feel bad, you feel good about it.

The whole thing ends on a good note with “Let’s Pray” which, much like the opener makes you feel kinda strange inside.

Here’s an example of his simply smart lyrics, taken from “Pushing Your Luck.”

   “You’re not answering the door

    Ladders are piling up

    All over the floor

    You have every answer

    But no one’s asking the questions

    Youre just feeling cold

    Expecting someone else to turn up the heat

     I bring you flowers for your daily allowance

     For getting through another day

     But it won’t last forever

    So you better think how not to suck!

     You’re pushing your luck.”

The whole album is fun and smart and a really easy listen.

Smooth as butter, sharp like whiskey on the rocks.

And the ruling is…

3.25 buscemi

3.25 out of 4 BUSCEMIS!

Here’s the video he put out for “You’ll Stay.”

 

 

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Gianni Bodo, Fade to Rose review

Hey look at this, I was just given an album to review!

Gianni Bodo’s newest album “Fade to Rose”

This album is a romantic epic. It starts with an exceedingly interesting intro, which has a kind of appropriated sound that is sprinkled throughout the album. From there it fluidly transitions into the next track, where intense and breathy lyrics guide the listener through what they can expect for the next 40 or so minutes. Lyrics of love and life, things that I usually skip fairly quickly when looking for something new on an iTunes radio station or the Spotify/Pandora equivalents. However, there is a melodic epic-ness that flows just beneath the surface of a lot of the songs that pops out of the ground in the form of a bass drum kick or quite synths— these really add life to portions of songs that would otherwise be dull and dragging.

The moments like the halfway point of At the Top of the World are great and extremely high energy, they then slip back into the melodic, lullaby tone of the rest of the album. It’s a very pleasant collection of songs that I think will appeal to a very broad audience.

Montreal is the strongest song on the album, with the exception of the intro sequence which I actually listened to a few times on repeat. Though at times the lyrics bordered on trite, the album was pretty good, it is something that I think a lot of people will enjoy. All you John Mayer and Jason Mraz fans out there will probably like this artist and album. (I am not saying that Gianni Bodo sounds like these two musicians, just that I think their audiences would overlap quite well.)

 

Lyrics:

“Now, you’ve become your own satellite,

in orbit around all that’s close to you.

So you send a message to sea,

in hope of reaching out to someone just like you.

It’s said ‘if you search you will find a wonder that sparks a child’s will to be free…”

 

I’m not sure how I feel about the flowery nature of the lyrics. I can see them being part of a wrist tattoo on a girl somewhere though.

 

Fade to Rose is a strong, coherent album that will appeal to a broad audience and really be a diamond in the rough for fans of singer songwriters whose lyrics are rooted in love and romance.

 

While the album is very good and many people will enjoy it more than I did…

…I personally give this album a rating of 2 out of 4 Buscemis.

2 buscemis

 

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Excuses. Thrones. Delts.

There is an epidemic of addiction running through the United States. It has been gaining momentum since 2011, well documented and something that is both applauded and criticized by the masses. Regardless, it was being talked about and I decided that I would partake in what everyone was talking about. I don’t consider myself to have an addictive personality by any means – I didn’t think there was any way this indulgence would affect my life.

I watched Game of Thrones.

I watched all of Game of Thrones.

I watched all of the first four seasons of Game of Thrones.

I watched all of the first four seasons of Game of Thrones in three days.

By the old Gods and the new I didn’t sleep, I skipped meals and I smelled like a wildling. It was almost shocking the downward spiral my life took after taking the first hit of “Thrones.”

I grew up reading and watching Lord of the Rings, hell I even chose what college I went to partially because of Aragorn and I’m not entirely proud of it. I, along with 90% of all guys and gals my age couldn’t stop watching the show. I even listened to the books at the gym.

Thanks to pirates all of this was free, this would have been as expensive as more physically destructive addictions had I paid for the seasons collected or the audio books on iTunes.

*I don’t condone piracy

*I did pay for A Game of Thrones in book form.

*All of this is partially responsible for there being no new content although I promised there would be…

…however, a Lannister always pays their debts and so do I.

 

Tyrion Lannister Flexing

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Conforms- new video collage- morbid feels for ya’ll.

I stayed up for a long time, drank the remainder of a 6-pack of strange German beer and listened to a lot of Jose Gonzalez iTunes radio while reading some Denis Johnson and Charles Bukowski. My computer threw a popup in my face letting me know that there had been an update to premiere, a program I hadn’t used in a long time. I decided I would take one of the morbid, poorly written poems that I did a few weeks back that was waiting to be deleted or reworked and make a video bringing together everything about it and the things that I was putting into my head at that moment.

The road is where my feet aren’t

they don’t move, but they aren’t

still. Dogs are barking in the distance, far away from where i am.

Loyalty is deeply imbedded in the soul of a dog—

men and dogs and beasts and cowards;

building walls, breaking them down, healing, killing.

it matters.

Tomorrow will be no different for you or me

today isn’t the present.

should we just conform?

 

(replicate separately – EM)

 

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New Things on the Horizon!

 

Times they are a'changin'. Removing the past and inundating yourself in the future is key. Screw the present.

Times they are a’changin’. Removing the past and inundating yourself in the future is key. Screw the present.

 

New things are on the horizon! MORE illustrations! MORE reviews! MORE stories and comics! MORE EVERYTHING.

Let me quickly peel this ugly exterior off and we can get started.

Ready…

Set…

GO!

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